We are all surrounded by people who don’t always think and act like us. At some point there is a difference of opinion and conflicts arise. So how do we resolve them? You will find below various causes, and solutions and how to handle it and solve it harmoniously. This article will change the way you think about problems and solving them.
Every relationship in our lives has its ups and downs. We are all different people trying to live together in this world. We all have our own way of looking at things. First and foremost don’t get upset about the little things. In this great cosmic game, most of the minor conflicts are relatively insignificant. If we get mad that someone didn’t pick up dirty clothes or throw the garbage, how are we going to react when they are going to do something really bad? Will you be able to handle it?
Whenever you find yourself worked up, take a moment to evaluate the relative importance. Every time I see a failing in someone, I try to think of a good quality in that person. If you are really sincere, you would also be able to see it instead of telling that there is nothing good or right about what he/she ever does. You will also be able to see that this good quality is far more important than a few minor flaws.
We all have our own way of resolving issues in our lives with family, friends and colleagues. Unresolved conflicts destroy a relationship. The solution is not in moving around hoping to find a perfect set of people but it’s in facing the conflict and dealing with it, otherwise they would only keep reappearing elsewhere.
We can’t change people much and it’s not right to expect it either. But, we can learn to deal with relationships to promote harmony and diffuse conflicts. This is one of the very important life skills that we can all develop. So, how do we do it? Below is a list of various pointers to help achieve it:
Seeing the other persons perspective
Whenever there is a difficult issue, it’s important to see the problem from the other person’s perspective. Constantly looking at things only from your own perspective also causes conflicts. You don’t need to agree to their viewpoint but, it’s just to see from a different angle. This empathy helps us to understand why they have that particular mindset. We might even moderate our stance because we understand why they are acting differently.
Dealing with Anger
If you are angry, the best way to deal with it is to avoid talking or arguing at that particular time. When we respond with anger, it only makes matters worse. It also invariably encourages the other person also to respond similarly further worsening the problems. Just calm yourself before confronting again. When others approach us with anger, we need to respond differently. Remember, silence is better than getting mad.
Stop being Judgemental
We may not be conscious of this, but this does happen. We all have our share of sour experiences which mould our way of looking at relationships. They could be insecurities or just plain bad experiences. Do not rely on other people to give you security and praise. Because if they don’t for whatever reason, you might start criticizing, this again isn’t good for relationships. You need to be in peace with yourself, only than relationships will be natural and good. We need to be sympathetic and have a positive attitude to the world outside. It’s easy to blame others for a bad relationship but, the only thing you can do is work on yourself to develop inner peace and poise.
Increase your Tolerance
People have different views and make different choices. It’s their decisions and we need to respect how they choose to live their life. Problems arise when we expect certain behaviour and they fail to live up to it. We need to be tolerant to their mistakes and limitations. We all are concerned and have good will but there comes a point sometime or the other where we need to give them the freedom to make their own choices even if you don’t agree to them.
Harmony and Oneness
To a large extent we are all able to get what we want. If you value harmony in your relationships, than make it happen. Keep reminding yourself about how much you desire harmony in your relationship and you will not allow yourself or your loved one to be miserable. Be happy at the success of others and sympathize when they experience difficulties. Feelings of Superiority and inferiority only bring insecurities, jealousy and pride. Instead start generating a feeling of oneness. When you genuinely feel oneness with others, you can’t hurt them.
Talk it out / Leave things unsaid?
When tense situations arise, talking it out to the concerned person can be the most effective solution to solve a problem. But, sometimes, some things are better left unsaid. Don’t bring up old issues unless it’s absolutely necessary. Concentrate on the positive issues and look for things to say that you would both agree on. This will make the other listen to your view point and conflicts can be resolved.
How to bring up someone’s mistake?
Avoid keeping scores. But, if someone is doing a mistake often, than bring it up. It’s important to make the other person be aware of the problem they are creating because they might not be aware of it. They might actually appreciate for being made aware of it. The best approach would be by telling the pain or problems its causing, but don’t drill it into them. Give them their time, space and encouragement to change.
Remember to always be positive and to forget the past. If we are willing to change our attitude, than we can develop harmony with the most difficult people as well. If there is harmony, we can make a big difference in our life as well as others. Good Luck to all my readers!
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